We all yearn to have that perfect orgasm. But for many, the epitome of reaching orgasmic nirvana simply spills in the sheets; a fraction of a moment of elation, that oh, too quickly, fades. We all want to achieve this goal that can sometimes be a daunting challenge, yet it most certainly is attainable.
Patience and endurance are key when it comes to reaching that moment in orgasmic paradise. The best thing to remember is to prolong your ejaculation. Through creativity, imagination and a little help from both partners, you have a better chance of experiencing the ultimate orgasm. Again, remember: hold back! To quote the classic 80’s dance song “Relax” by Frankie Goes To Hollywood:
“Relax, don’t do it, when you want to come.”
Do not underestimate the power and control you will gain when prolonging your ejaculation. If you restrain and accomplish this self-control, there are good chances of achieving the ultimate climax.
TIPS FOR THE ULTIMATE EXPLOSION
FOREPLAY is not to be underestimated. Enjoy 3 times the amount of time in foreplay that you usually spend during intercourse. It’s not only the woman that gets her juices flowing. The more pre-seminal fluid that the man is oozing, the better.
RELAX! Just like Frankie says, don’t be in a hurry. If you find your heart is racing, bring down the pace by lying back and cooling it down between the two of you. Slowly enjoying the beautiful sights before your eyes will only make you yearn for more.
MAKE OUT When you make it around the bases too fast, you’re gonna get to home plate too fast. This is the opposite approach. Instead, take your time and indulge in the wet kisses, body massages and light caresses across each other’s bodies. Touch each other and enjoy touching yourself. Just keep it slow and easy.
SUCKING NIPPLES Get your partner wet and ready by gently sucking on her nipples and licking her breasts. Gentle and rough nipple play can really heighten your desire, all the while remembering: slow and easy.
ORAL SEX This can be a difficult challenge for many, yet it is the perfect way to stimulate a slower-to-get-going gal. Only the most skillful should attempt to “69” prior to intercourse. This can be a surefire way to lose it. Be careful and use your imagination here when necessary to slow down your urge to explode.
WAIT! Just when you think you can’t stand it anymore, do not penetrate her. Only enter her vagina when, and only when, she is completely wet and begging for you to fuck her.
DIFFERENT POSITIONS help to break up the intensely pleasurable moments, again, helping to prolong the need to come.
CLIT TEASING Use the head of your organ to rub against the clitoris to excite your partner. Use your wand just like it’s her own personal “Rabbit”, being careful not to over-stimulate.
DON’T DO IT! If you think you might “let go”, don’t move. Tighten up the muscles in your butt and your entire pelvic area. Stay perfectly still and think of something bad (like your wife walking in on you).
TAKE A BREAK If you’ve been doing all the work, give yourself a break, and let the little lady take a ride. Let her mount you and “ride cowboy”, while you can regain control.
WHAT MAKES YOU SPARK? Make sure to know your own buttons—what gets you off quickly—and avoid these body motions like the plague, until it’s time to hit the ceiling.
Realistically, on average, some of the best sex only lasts between 7 and 13 minutes. So if you’re clocking yourself at a good 20 to 40 minutes, you’re well on your way to getting the most out of your orgasm. Experiment with your own plumbing, as well as your partner’s, remembering that the more time that you dedicate to teasing one another, the better the chances are of achieving the ultimate orgasm (and possibly multiple orgasms, which believe it or not, some men are lucky enough to experience).
SEX EXERCISES
The muscles that are used during urination are the same “sex muscles” that contract to give you that resounding sensation of climax throughout your genitalia. For men and women both, a practice of doing Kegel exercises helps to improve performance, as well as enhance orgasm. Simply tighten/clench the same muscles that you pee with to make your flow of urine stop and start again in order to locate these muscles on your body. The exercise of tightening and releasing your pelvic muscles, along with squeezing and holding for short lengths of time strengthens these muscles, empowering you to not only experience a more fulfilling orgasm, but a more satisfying sex life that will continue into your senior years.
THINK-OFF!
While some women are still faking their orgasms, the self-thinker Barbara Carrellas, featured in the new “Strange Sex” series on TLC, has been “thinking herself off” for more than twenty years.
Seem nuts? Maybe. Yet, researchers at Rutgers University have been studying the mind-body-sex connection, and have found that Carrellas’ claims are backed up by documented evidence. While bringing herself to orgasm by “thinking off” during her MRI testing, the researchers found that sexual areas within her brain lit up when she climaxed.
The brain-sex connection is particularly strong in women. Author and sex therapist Dr. Ian Kerner explains that “the brain is the most powerful sex organ,” and that men have a much more difficult time achieving orgasm without the pleasure of touch, while there are many documented cases in women.
Carrellas explains the technique as a "breath and energy orgasm.”
“Anyone can learn this," she states. “You just have to un-teach yourself what you've probably absorbed all your life." Beginning with our first sexual experiences as children when we are touching ourselves and learning about our bodies, she explains: "When we are young, we learn the 'quiet and quick' rule, so that we don't get caught. And the only way to climax that way is to hold your breath." Yet she informs that the much more satisfying orgasms are experienced by breathing deeply, which is what she does to “think off”.
When partnering up, Carrellas doesn’t use breath and energy rather than traditional sex, yet explains: “My definition of what sex is has expanded so that genital sex is just one part of the repertoire.” When thinking-off with a partner, one way is to hold hands, maintain eye contact, and breathe together (while fully clothed).
“It can be quite mind-blowing," she shares. For her guest lecture appearances at colleges and at home, she continues to practice her technique. "I want young people to have more safer-sex options," she confides.
Check it out for yourself on TLC as part of their “Strange Sex” series.
SEX SUPPLEMENTS
Looking for a boost in your libido? Some natural supplements/herbal treatments have been used for years to stimulate the genitalia and can actually help build and sustain sexual energy in both men and women. Ginseng is the most well-known aphrodisiac. “Red Chinese” and “Red Korean” ginseng are known for giving the best results and have been shown to increase testosterone levels in males, and can also help restore one’s sexual appetite, even impotence. Recommended by herbalists to be taken daily, ginseng can be taken with tea, (especially ginger tea). Other known aphrodiac herbs include turmeric, ginger, chocolate, damiana and Mira puama (dried root and bark from a common tree grown in the Amazon river basin). By submerging Mira puama with Vodka or a similar favorite liquor for about a month, you can create a very stimulating and strong aphrodisiac. Popular among Brazilian girls, this very potent drink is used as a stimulant when consumed in a small amount about a half an hour before sex.
Is there any such thing as the perfect orgasm?
Sex scientist, Dr. Barry Komisaruk believes so. He is hoping that his research (which focuses on the effect that orgasm has on women’s brains) will help with pain relief medication (because there is such a close link between pleasure and pain).
"I'm interested in the link between pleasure and pain, which is marginal in terms of what happens in the brain. The orgasm activates the same part of the brain as pain. I want to find out what makes something feel good."
His study includes research on women who can climax just through thought (like TLC’s “think-off” master, Barbara Carrellas), and the restoration of sexual feelings to those who are paralyzed, as well as those who have difficulty achieving orgasm (in monitoring MRI scans of their own brains, in order to bring themselves to climax.
SIMULTANEOUS ORGASMS?
Woody Allen brought humor to the sometimes unattainable idea of simultaneous orgasm: "The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers."
READ FOR YOURSELF…
The Perfect Orgasm
How to Get It – How to Give It
By Joan Elizabeth Lloyd
The perfect orgasm isn't born. It's made-patiently, attentively, lovingly. Author Joan Elizabeth Lloyd, sex expert and author of Nice Couples Do, If It Feels Good, Come Play with Me, and 52 Saturday Nights, reveals intimate secrets with step by step instructions to learn how to bring your partner to the peak of pleasure...and how to help him or her do the same for you.
Lloyd’s book covers such subjects as masturbation, condiments, oral sex, talking dirty, phone sex, role playing, anal sex, blindfolds and stripping, among other stimulating side dishes for sexual delight. SLV
Issue 51 featuring: Lauren WK, Carli Banks, Brianne Chanel Cox |
