OK, by now almost everyone on the planet has heard of Craig’s List. It’s a place where you can post just about anything. You can look for a job, a lawn mower, a roommate, a ‘life partner’, a date or just plain SEX! You can post Men seeking Women or Women seeking Men or Women seeking Women, 2 Women, 3 Women, Goat seeking Rhinoceros, or… you get the picture.

So having nothing better to do in life than play golf and surf Craig’s List, I decided to enlighten you with little bits of Chit Chat that I’ve run across. Now don’t all of you go running over to Craig’s List to find out who is posting these ads, it would be a waste of time. Besides, you have me to do your work for you. Instead of going into lengthy details, I have broken it down into the following categories:

Women seeking Men - this is a semi-realistic attempt for lonely-hearted women searching for their true love. Men seeking Women - while not as sincere, this is the male version of the above.
Casual Encounters - now this is where the real fun lies. These ads are so outright sexual, it would make Jenna Jamison blush. And funny? This would make for a great comedy HBO show (not network, due to ‘adult’ language) because you could never write anything as real as these posts.

Men seeking Women - If you want to see loads of penis photographs, this is where you go. It seems that most guys think that women look at a guy’s “lower” head, rather than their “upper” head first. After reading loads of these, you realize that you’re looking at the same guy’s head, over and over and over.

Women seeking Men - Now this is the CHIT! These ads for “companionship” are very forward, clever, outlandish, and whatever words you can add to the mix: Nymph, Cougar, Slut, BBW, you name it, it’s here. These ads contain pictures, some graphic, some gross, some nasty, some of street signs, etc., anything that can possibly draw your attention to their ads. But in the course of “surfing” these ads, beware mates, there be rough waters ahead, as you will see listed below.

1) Most of these ads are flagged for deletion almost the instant they are listed. 2) Many of these ads are just a scam to get you (the reader) to sign up at some bullshit Web site for whatever (dating, horse manure trading, and of course, Beanie Baby collectables). 3) Many of the posts are done by the same individuals, over and over and over again. 4) Many of the ads are created for BOTs (computer generated programs designed to follow and respond to you) in order to rope you into spending money on a “safe dating” or “age verification” site.

The following ads are REAL, word for word. Enjoy!

“I am a very busy professional woman with a high sex drive looking for a highly charged sex partner. Please read all of this ad and only respond if you are what I am looking for. I don’t have the time to date or sift through the bullshit so this is what I want.....A single WHITE man, at least 7in, thick & cut. You must be clean, fun, kinky, freaky, respectful and be available when I want you. NO GAMES, BULLSHIT or DRAMA!! You have to be open minded sexually, be willing to lick pussy & ass, & be available nights. I want to be licked, sucked, fingered, toyed and fucked till I am finished. Let’s explore all our options of sexual pleasures, no blood, water sports or pain. I want to know your fantasies too cuz I am not completely satisfied unless you are. Your email must contain a pic or will be deleted...NO EXCUSES!!!! Cock pics are nice but I want a face pic too or you won’t be considered. I am not looking for multiple partners just 1 guy that fits the bill. Shoot me an email with your pics & tell me a bit about you and I tell you a lil about me.”

seeking a bodybuilder only to use my strap on on............you must host...........bend over and like it

“I am sexy and curvy 36D I like to party and get naked! Looking for men, or couples who like to party and get naked!! I am clean and would require you be too. I like easy going people without any drama or headgames.”

“us fat chicks like cock, too!! I thought u knew??”

“Hello Gentlemen, I am a 34 yr old female (its pretty bad that you have to put in the female part :D) and I was wondering if any guys out there are willing to help me out. I am looking for someone who wants to help me start lactating again. I love having my tits sucked and would love to have them filled up with milk again. I know it will take time and effort on both of our parts, but I am game. I am serious about this request, I have photos but will only send them after we have made contact.”

Looking for some NSA ass play. I hate it when I hook up with a guy and he refuses to give me anal or even play with my ass. So I’m reaching out on craigslist looking for a guy that loves pleasing a girl anally. I have my own place or can travel. Trust me you’ve never met a girl like me, when it come to enjoying a hard cock in her ass!

“I’m going to stay in my room, order some room service, and whatever alcohol I think I might like. Nobody wants to drink alone, so maybe you want to join me. I must be fucking crazy looking for drinking partners on CL. Really fucking nuts, but let’s see where it goes. I probably won’t even get any replies worth responding to, but…
I’m 31, cute, chunky (not disgusting or obese, just chunky), and I think I’m fun. Age and race are no issue, just don’t be a serial killer or rapist. My coworker is in the room right next door with her boyfriend so if you do try to kill me or some shit, I’ll just bang on the wall. LOL!”

“I am looking to go down and give the orgasm of the lifetime to one, or more beautiful women.. I have an intense passion for giving oral, and feel that it is the one thing that stimulates me the most before sex.. I have no problem using my tongue, finger, nose.. anything and everything to see those love juices flow.. if you are interested, send a response and we can talk.. I figure we can meet downstairs at a bar, and if we like each other, then let the fun begin ;).. I actually thought my last girlfriend was having a seizure the first time (well 7 times in one night ;) ) that I gave her an orgasm.. so hopefully that speaks words for what I can do..”

45, 158 lbs., 6’, slender runner’s build, extremely hygienic, nicely shaven, 7” cut, multi-cummer, heavy loads, ...
very orally inclined, hard pounding, non Viagra induced.
If interested contact me...I aim to please and provide multiple results for both of us!

get fucked good tonight. 29 years old, 5’8”, 160 lbs., short brown hair, sexy green eyes and a big fat 8” cock, thick as hell and topped with a big juicy mushroom head you’ll love wrapping your lips around - to say nothing of getting inside you. i eat pussy like there’s no tomorrow, and i am completely without inhibitions. i’m a dominant who’s into rough, aggressive sex. not looking for anything other than a cock-hungry girl who’s trying to have the best sex of her life tonight. i’m clean, 420 friendly, with a vasectomy, so you know what happens in Vegas, yadda yadda.

“Daddy needs a sub that is open to having another lover then coming back to daddy all dirty. This is a real post. This can be an ongoing relationship. I have a big house we can play in, and can lead to a live in situation.
I like watching, being watched, oral, and having a sub that will be a real slut now and then. If we go out in public she should be able to blend in at the finest restaurants. But when we decide to be bad, she should become a dirty little slut. Let’s shop for sexy clothes. We can find others for us to tease and please. Let’s do some sneaky networking. I would want you to go out to a club. Dance the night away teasing and being bad. Then come home to me sweaty and dirty. I am 100% healthy, in shape, successful, nonsmoker, DDF, and rarely drink. I have a wild sexual appetite and need someone to share this with. All I ask is that you are DDF, no drama, discreet and understand the balance of being a lady when you need to be, and a dirty little slut after.
I am respectful but at the same time I need a partner to share hot times with. I have pics and am willing to share and meet in person. I am not looking for multiple partners. I am looking for one sexy female that is also a dirty slut. You know who you are. Wouldn’t it be great to be with someone that understands it and wants it too? No one needs to know our dark side. But we can share our dirty little secrets with each other.”

Issue 41 featuring: AJ Bailey, Karlie Montana, Charlie Laine and Melissa Jacobs